


Something Just Like This

by Endless_Torment



Series: Rediscovered Bonds [2]
Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Blood brothers ending, Character Study, Childhood Memories, Correspondence, Drama, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, M/M, POV First Person, Post-Canon, Sequel, Songfic, Translation in English, unspoken feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24163354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endless_Torment/pseuds/Endless_Torment
Summary: After a long break, Chris again receives a letter from Daniel in Mexico and again wonders what he should do with his life after graduation, and whether their strange relationship by correspondence has any future.
Relationships: Daniel Diaz/Chris Eriksen, Sean Diaz/Finn
Series: Rediscovered Bonds [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743988
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Something Just Like This

**Author's Note:**

> A translation of [Семейные узы](https://ficbook.net/readfic/9039988) by [Slepnusha](https://ficbook.net/authors/55991).
> 
> Events take place within the framework of [Family ties](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24001408), namely, sometime after what was described in that work, but here the narrative is more focused on the relationship between Daniel and Chris.  
>   
> The work is a songfic for the beautiful song "The Chainsmokers - Something Just Like This."

It's a normal Sunday morning. Autumn was in full swing, so Beaver Creek is insanely beautiful, especially in the evening, when the last of the sun's rays break through the leaves that have not yet fallen. Or, as it is now, lighting up my room, making everything around me golden. Although, I'd prefer not to admire all this and sleep a little more. However, in my attempts yesterday to sketch the yard, I didn't close the curtains and now I am reaping the fruits of my forgetfulness. Well, there's nothing to do about it. Maybe, since I got up earlier than expected, I can make breakfast before my dad does?

When I went into the kitchen in my favorite pajamas, I found my dad already at the stove.

Sniffing, I realized he was trying to make pancakes. Oh, that is so super cool, I haven't eaten them in a hundred years! More precisely, eight years… my mom used to love them as much as I do. The store-bought ones just don't compare.

Dad, without turning around and trying to flip the pancake on the fly, spoke.

"Good morning, sleepyhead! It's not like you to be up so early! I thought I'd have more time to test my culinary skills and, if things got bad, throw the pancakes to hell and go back to the traditional omelette!"

I went to the refrigerator to pour myself some orange juice and glanced at the stove. There were several freshly made pancake on the plate next to it. We won't stay hungry!

Walking to the table, I sat down and stared thoughtfully out the window. I love Saturday and Sunday mornings when I get to have breakfast with my dad and watch some stupid TV shows or basketball games. I'll miss these moments when they come to an end.

I'm sixteen now, close to graduating, and it'll be time to choose my path and move out of this house soon. And I still don't know what I want. Yes, I've learned to draw well, my stories are always praised by my literature teacher… But what should I do next? I can't go to college and even if I could where would I go? Where would I want to settle down and spend the rest of my life? _Next to whom?_

"By the way, Chris, there's a letter _from your bandit._ I left it on the table next to the front door."

My face flushed red.

"Daniel's not a bandit!"

Dad threw a mocking look at me as he finished cooking.

"So you don't deny that he's _yours_?" I shot him an annoyed glare. "Okay, okay, I won't say anything else. Let's just have breakfast."

That was very suspect, but my father knew full well that Daniel was my only _friend_. From time to time, he used to joke about our old-fashioned correspondence and always slipped into the criminal topic. What a stereotype, it's not just bandits living in Mexico!

I finished the pancakes quickly, swallowing them almost whole. I probably wouldn't have noticed if they had been completely inedible. I was too preoccupied with the white envelope a few meters away.

After hastily promising my dad that I would be back at the TV soon, I ran into my room and jumped on the bed, clutching the letter to my chest.

My God, a letter from Daniel! He hasn't written to me in months. I thought something might have happened to him. Or he... found someone. Well, things happen and we're just _friends_.

I impatiently tore open the envelope and took out a letter from which two photographs fell out. I don't know why, but Daniel really likes cameras that immediately print everything they shoot. As for me, this is wildly inconvenient, especially in our time, because not every frame is worthy of being captured. Except that Daniel doesn't think so, and he puts pictures in almost every letter he writes. Usually these are beautiful views of Mexico, the sea, the sun, palm trees and all this instagrammed nonsense, which, on the internet look insanely lame, and on Daniel's Polaroid's—insanely attractive. Sometimes he sends funny selfies, or photos from the auto shop with all sorts of cool cars. Less often—joint shots with his brother, because he thinks I'm not interested at all. Well, it's also because Sean doesn't know about my correspondence with Daniel.

Today's pictures differed from everything else.

On one of them were three glasses decorated with oranges, with an orange-red liquid inside against the background of the endless sea. I wonder what kind of drink it is? Probably some kind of alcoholic cocktail that I knew nothing about. I don't drink and I have absolutely no desire to. The sight of my father being an alcoholic for two years was enough for me. We haven't had a can of beer in our house for a long time, which I'm extremely happy about.

I immediately recognized Daniel's hand on the right, holding a glass, by the red bandana of his deceased dog, Mushroom on it. Another hand, probably Sean's, the same color as Daniel's. And the third one was unknown to me. Rings on the fingers, letters on the knuckles. Probably a new friend? But _who?_ The second one was darkened, only two silhouettes sitting in the sand could be made out. One of them was Sean, but the other most likely wasn't Daniel, as he looks much bigger than his brother.

Having decided not to torment myself with guesses and perhaps unfounded jealousy, I turned the letter over.

> _Hey, Chris!_
> 
> _Sorry I've been gone so long. We've had some good things happen here, I guess, though I haven't quite decided for myself. And then there was no way I could sneak out to the post office like usual. I'm used to only hiding from Sean, but now I have to hide this from another jerk!_
> 
> _Anyway, a few months ago, Finn showed up. I never wrote to you about him because I thought he was my friend for a long time, but then he just dumped us. He pissed me off with what he did, and I never thought I'd see him again. And then, let's see, first he calls us like nothing happened, then he shows up intending to stay with us forever! If I had my way, I wouldn't have even let him on our doorstep, but Sean..._ _So, uh, Finn's kind of hooking up with Sean, that kind of thing. It's fun for them, right? Except my room's next to them..._
> 
> _I'm not kidding though, I'm still happy for Sean. He's so into him, it's almost nauseating! Although, I do occasionally feel like the third wheel with these two and I still don't know if I forgave Finn or not. Will we ever go back to being friends? Remember when I wrote to you about the hemp farm? Well, that's where we became friends and Sean's crush on him started._
> 
> _Oh, it'd be great if you were here, too. Sometimes it's sad to sit alone in the kitchen while those two are making out on the beach. Although, Finn has always been the prime mover, so dancing and cocktails are more common now! But with you, it would be super cool. I hope you come one day. At least for a little while._
> 
> _Also, how are you doing? You must have started school by now, right? Like, senior year and all that? Have you decided what you'll do after graduating? Are you going to be an artist like Sean, hmm? Or are you going to do comic books like you've always wanted? I think it's time for a super cool comic book about Super Wolf and Captain Spirit. Hawt Dawg Man isn't in fashion anymore and I think I've outgrown it_ _☹_
> 
> _I hope you answer me before I do this time. I promise I won't be gone long._
> 
> ~~_Maybe I should tell Finn about you, and then it'll be easier..._ ~~
> 
> _Love,_
> 
> _Daniel Diaz_

I put the letter and the photos aside. Daniel writes that he hopes I'll come. And that he would like to see me around. I would like to understand what meaning is hidden behind these words. Come for a visit, hang out together, and go back to the long correspondence by mail? Daniel hasn't even called me once, not on the phone or WhatsApp, and never writes in Facebook Messengers.

He explained that he was worried about _our safety._ Maybe Daniel was overreacting. It's been so long since he and Sean left America. I'm sure the police have a lot of other problems besides looking for two fugitives, much less keeping tabs on their old friends. In fact, how much are they to blame for what happened at the border? Was the press overreaching with its graphic depiction of the Independence Day massacre?

I was young at the time, spending Summer with my grandparents while my dad was getting treatment. I hadn't heard from Daniel since Christmas, but I was able to send a letter to him through Claire in the Spring. Of course, I, a ten-year-old, wasn't interested in the news at all, and Kristen and Peter never really enjoyed watching crime chronicles.

It was only in the Fall, as soon as I got back to Beaver Creek, that I rushed to Claire to ask her how Daniel was doing and when he could visit us. I remember when she looked away and said, "May God forgive them, and may they bow to him one day. I'm sorry Chris, but I'm asking you to never talk to me about this again."

After that I pestered my dad, who had finally come to his senses and even got a job as a gym teacher at my school, about it. Dad, with his usual dislike of Claire, remarked that she was just a senile old woman who knew nothing about life or people. As much as it saddened me to realize this, I was in complete agreement with him. Sean and Daniel did nothing wrong to me, my dad, or even Claire and Stephen.

I'm glad school will be over soon. It's not that I don't enjoy studying at all, no. It's just that I've been uncomfortable there for a while, with my classmates. I don't go to cool parties with a lot of alcohol and weed, I don't drink beer in somebody's garage at night and I don't make out with girls in the school parking lot. I also don't understand why they think I'm a nerd just for working part-time in the local library at night, and when my grades, other than literature and art, are far from perfect, why I'm constantly bullied because my dad works at the school as a gym teacher and my clothes are bought at the flea market. Is it my fault I can't afford much?

I absolutely dislike these strange companies that spend their free time in stupid intrigues and gossip. It has always been much more interesting for me to be alone with myself, to sit and paint, to depict the world around me in bright colors, or to read. It doesn't matter if it's comic, manga or books, but it's about friendship, love, adventure, and it has to have a good ending. About superheroes, ancient, like Heracles or modern, like Captain America and as much as I would have liked it as a child, I'm not on that list. Fortunately, I guess. It's not for nothing that Spiderman was, "With great power comes great responsibility." Captain Spirit only exists on the pages of my web comics, living amazing adventures with the Super Wolf.

_I've been reading books of old_

_The legends and the myths_

_Achilles and his gold_

_Hercules and his gifts_

_Spider-Man's control_

_And Batman with his fists_

_And_ _clearly_ _I don't see myself upon that list_

My only friend has long been my father. No matter how he had behaved years ago, no matter what cruel words he had said after drinking another bottle of whiskey, I still forgave him and always tried to understand. Let my grandparents still think I would be better off with them, because "alcoholics are never sober", and dad wouldn't be able to give me a decent education, give me a start into life. They don't know that it's my father who always supports me in my creative endeavors, praises my drawings, and still hangs the best ones in his room. Reads my stories and sometimes even gives useful advice. It's with him we go to basketball games when finances allow it, cook together in the evenings and go shopping.

He knows I'm saving money, even though he still thinks it's for college, and he tries his best to help, and sometimes even tries putting a little of his own in my piggy bank, even though I refuse all the time. I'm not telling him _what_ I'm really saving up for. 

_A one-way trip_ _to Mexico._

There are things I can't even tell my dad, and they weigh heavily on my soul. Not because I don't trust him. He just _wouldn't understand._ It would be difficult for him, who wants to have an ordinary family, with a beautiful wife like my mother and a couple of children, to accept the fact that his only son wants a slightly different life.

Of course, I'm well-aware I can't leave my dad here all alone, he just won't survive it, but I don't want to give up my dream, either. Even if it's a little naïve. Going to a man in another country and not understanding why. Who are we to each other? Pen-pals and backyard playmates? We didn't spend more than a week together, and we were very young. And yet, I believe there's a reason, either out of sheer courtesy and boredom, that Daniel still keeps sending me these letters, even if sometimes with long breaks, and always with cute pictures and a bunch of hearts at the end. Does he miss me too...?

I still miss my mother terribly, even though my pain has dulled somewhat over the years. Dad is still trying to get over it, and it's a lot harder for him than it is for me. When he affectionately called mom "my better half", I, as a child, could not understand what it meant. Frankly, this phrase is unclear to me even now, although I have read an insane number of books about love, which usually describe boundless happiness, a painful feeling in the chest and the notorious butterflies fluttering in the stomach. I don't know, it sounded too vague and simplistic to me.

Dad always _needed_ my mom like a person needed air and as sad as it was to realize, he needed her even more than he needs me. He misses her _greatly_ , but still tries to keep his pain to himself. It wasn't until a while ago that he finally had the courage to get some old photos of them together and hang them all over the house. He's learned to think of mom with a smile, but I know exactly what's behind it.

I hate to think about it, but sometimes it feels like _I'm_ the only one keeping him from _following_ her to the grave. Which is why I can't imagine what would happen to dad if I leave Beaver Creek forever. I have time to think about it, though. And I have to discuss it with Daniel. Assuming, he's really waiting for me.

Sometimes I wonder what our lives would have been like if mom was alive. She'd probably be a super cool artist, and she'd definitely paint under Marvel or DC. Dad would have gotten that position as a basketball coach. Maybe I'd have a brother or sister. Most likely, my life would have been _different._

A rainbow, full of moments, sparkling with happiness and smiles. I would have gone to an academy, maybe even the one my mother graduated from. My grandparents would be happy with my successes, and achievements, and my friends would probably envy me. Although, who knows, maybe in that gingerbread-pink reality, I wouldn't have them. I don't think I'd have met Daniel either, because my parents wouldn't have decided to move to a tiny house on the outskirts of Beaver Creek. Still it's a moment I'd still like to experience in _any_ reality.

I wonder what my mom would have said to me when I told her that I _never_ liked girls? That I'm in love with a boy I've seen a few times in my life? Would she have been able to accept that instead of dismissing the idea and pushing it away from her, as my dad did for a time by periodically asking me why I don't go out with my classmates? _What_ would she advise me to do at this point? To go where my soul calls me and risk what little I already have, or stay where I am and perhaps regret it for the rest of my life?

Is it really too much to ask for someone who really needs me? As a person, as a friend, as a soul mate. Nothing unusual or any supernatural dreams. I would like something that my mom and dad once went through.

 _She said, where'd you_ _wanna_ _go?_

 _How much you_ _wanna_ _risk?_

_I'm not lookin' for somebody_

_With some superhuman gifts_

_Some superhero_

_Some fairy-tale_ _bliss_

_Just something I can turn to_

_Somebody I can miss_

I remember how excited I was when I received my first letter from Daniel. That was about three years ago. I was coming home from school and checked the mailbox before going in, because I always liked to look at flyers and for discount coupons, just like dad taught me. It was then that I saw a small white envelope addressed to me with no return address.

At first, I thought it was an advertisement for some festival or other event. It was only after dinner that I remembered the letter, and when I tore open the envelope, I was dumbfounded. It was from Daniel.

He apologized a lot for not writing or contacting me sooner, because he was afraid that I would _"turn my back on him, too."._ His first message was short, he mentioned nothing about his life in Mexico, just that he remembered we met and thanked me for the cape I had given him. At the end, he added, "I'll understand if you don't want to answer me, or if you're afraid to. On the other side of the page, you'll find the return address. If you write to me, I'll be thrilled."

That letter looked very... grown-up and, insecure. I didn't even know how to answer it, what to ask and what not to ask. What should I tell him? Would he be interested in reading about my normal life, comprising of whining about school and not having friends, spending evenings together with my dad watching basketball games, and constant attempts to improve my writing and drawing skills. Wouldn't it be stupid to write all this nonsense to a man who must have changed over the years and had been forced to grow up quickly because he _had_ to leave his home country and everyone who stayed here?

To be honest, there were some things I was kind of afraid to ask. _How_ did it all come to where even his own grandparents turned their backs on him? And perhaps they weren't the only ones?

I didn't forget about Daniel, I tried to find him on social media, and even learned to look for things in the newspapers. But nothing. Only a bunch of articles ending on July 4th, 2017 and then nothing. It's like Sean and Daniel vanished without a trace, and everyone forgot about them. Only a short letter from Mexico, lying on my desk reminded me that the Diaz brothers still _existed_.

It was really not a question of whether to answer at all. I wanted to get to know Daniel Diaz again and see if he was the man I made friends with as a child. I sent a letter the very next day. That's how our strange correspondence began.

Daniel, at first, was still very cautious, not saying much about himself, but reacting strongly to my stories, which he found interesting, and also admired my drawings, which I put into my letters. Then he started talking a bit about a hemp farm in Humboldt, a weird cult in Nevada, and meeting his mother, but never about what happened at the border.

I know very little about their lives in Mexico. The only things I've been able to figure out is that Sean has a repair shop, Daniel helps him with it, and they live at his father's house right next to the sea. But does he like school, does he have any friends there (maybe girls...?), what does he want to do after graduating, what does he do in his spare time, aside from playing on the PlayBox and reading comics? At first, I tried to ask him about it, but usually Daniel evaded the question, more interested in my life. Like what I read and what I play, where I go and who I talked to.

Then I started sending photos. From time to time he'd comment on the books and comics I mentioned in my letters. However, in a mockingly contemptuous manner, he said that all these precepts and rules that society so strenuously "hammers" into us through books are complete nonsense, and we need to live by our own rules. Well, I guess he can afford to back in Mexico, but here I have to disguise myself as a _normal_ teenager, and only in my room can I be myself.

I wonder if Daniel still uses his superpowers. To what level did he develop them? I used to envy him, dreaming of being able to do the things he could do. I still remember that magical feeling of flying, when I hovered in the air instead of hitting the snow-covered ground after falling down the stairs of my tree house. Once upon a time, he told me he could move small objects like pebbles or plates, and even stop snowballs in the air. Could he make cars change direction or move a standing person?

When I was a kid, I thought if I had that kind of ability, maybe I could have saved my mom... Now I realize that superheroics is not for me and I didn't give my beautiful Captain Spirit cape to Daniel for nothing, only real heroes should wear it. I hope it's helping him doing good deeds in Mexico... Well, I don't know. It's his superpower, so he's free to use it as he pleases. I truly believe, however, he wouldn't hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.

_I've been reading books of old_

_The legends and the myths_

_The testaments they told_

_The moon and its eclipse_

_And Superman unrolls_

_A suit before he lifts_

_But I'm not the person that it fits_

Over the last three years, I've become used to getting letters from Daniel, so a few months' break was hard for me. I almost believed that he had something more interesting to do than write to a man hundreds of miles away. He used to write to me several times a month, and my responses would reach him in a little more than a week. I wanted to hear his voice at least once, but I tried to respect his choice and I didn't ask for it, even though it was difficult for me. I didn't even tell him I be visiting him.

Daniel has often said in passing how he'd liked to see a movie or take a tour around Mexico together, and I, just like him, refrained from answering. I was just scared at the thought of seeing in some letter that he told his brother that his friend Chris was coming to visit. A friend, right? Who else can I be?

It must be strange to feel a special bond with someone you saw years ago as a kid, but that's enough for me. It's naïve, but it's true. Maybe I'm not in love with a real person at all, but with a caricature I've imagined for myself. But... it wasn't all in my head, was it? Judging from the letters, Daniel was still the same relaxed, cheerful, energetic guy who cares about his family and the people he loves. He's still the Daniel Diaz I knew, only freer.

He became... very handsome, and in almost all his selfies he made funny faces, and his eyes sparkled with warmth, although in the joint photos with his brother, Daniel seemed cocky and self-confident to the point of arrogance. Like some anti-hero from a classic manga. I'm sure it's just an _image_ , and inside that tall, dark-haired guy with a cold gaze still lives a funny little boy who loves dogs, stories about superheroes and is ready to save someone who needs him the most.

I'm glad he doesn't know what I looked like now. The same stupid freckles you can't get rid of, the same blond hair that always fades to a disgusting straw color in the sun, the same skinny, angular body, because I never became a basketball star, despite all my father's desperate attempts. How could anyone like that? Especially Daniel. He's probably got hordes of girls chasing after him. And yet, I'm glad that I've become more or less permanent in his life. Even if only on paper.

Maybe when I get there, we'll talk it over and I'll even confess to him, do at least one _heroic_ thing in my life, and Daniel will accept me, at least as a friend, not turn away from my confession. If he's cool with Sean's boyfriend, he's not going to turn on me either. I didn't get any worse for just _falling in love with him._ We'll have fun together, play all his favorite games, watch movies he hasn't seen, have a party, that's all, but I'm not going to dance and drink anything.

There's a chance that he'll _get used to me_ , my voice, will want to talk to me on the phone and see me more often, and then… I don't know, I'm afraid to think any further. I'm good at writing stories, but I can't make up a happy story of my life, even if it's just in my imagination. Fears, complexes, a constant sense of uselessness and the fact that _I'm superfluous_ in this world sometimes prevent me from moving forward.

My father used to say that if it wasn't for me, my mother would still be alive… I once mentioned this to Daniel, to which I got a long speech about how each of us is valuable and special, and deserves a chance at a happy life, despite all the "shit" that happened before.

Well, was he right? Am I worthy of _someone_ who will kiss me good night, like mom and dad always did?

 _Where'_ _d ya_ _wanna_ _go?_

 _How much you_ _wanna_ _risk?_

_I'm not lookin' for somebody_

_With some superhuman gifts_

_Some superhero_

_Some fairy-tale_ _bliss_

_Just something I can turn to_

_Somebody I can kiss_

_I want something just like this_

* * *

> _Hey, Daniel!_
> 
> _It was really nice to get your letter! I was afraid something had happened to you, since you hadn't written in three months. It's great that you have made such positive changes! Mutual love is always a good thing and having your brother and his boyfriend carry that feeling through all the misery and bad luck is amazing no matter how you feel about Finn right now. I think you can (or maybe you already have) get along with him. By the way, the pictures are super cool! They always cheer me up! It's Sean and Finn on the beach, right?_
> 
> _As usual, nothing new has happened to me in all this time. I started my vacation at my grandparents', and then I went back to Beaver Creek with my dad. We went to a basketball game in Portland a couple of times, and dad was thrilled that our team won the last game. We also went to Cold Heart 3 together! Even though Dad grumbles that I'm too old for cartoons. I really liked it! I still advise you to watch the second and third parts._
> 
> _Even in the Summer I practiced a lot in drawing faces with pencil and almost abandoned SAI... I hope I can get back to it on Winter Break and you can check out my attempts on paper, I'm sending you a drawing of dad and my poor redrawing of your last selfie._
> 
> _School has really started to buckle down, and the only thing that gives me the strength to live through to Summer is that this is the final year. I still haven't decided where to go after graduation. Frankly, I don't have the financial means to go to some cool college, so I just don't know, I'm scared to even think about it. But I'm not giving up on comic books! I already have a lot of sketches, so I should put them together and maybe even send them to some publisher. Maybe I'll get a job as an illustrator. Unless I get sucked into drawing emotions and movements. I know full well that without a special education, I can't achieve that ideal career. And I haven't even gone to art school, but maybe it won't be too late after high school. By the way, is Sean still painting?_
> 
> _Also, you've written so many times you'd like to see me in Mexico, and I've been thinking about it lately. Frankly, I'd like to see you too. I'll need a way to celebrate my graduation so would you all be comfortable with me planning a week-long trip at the end of June next year? Or is a week too much? I don't want to embarrass anybody with my presence. If you're uncomfortable talking to Sean about it, you can keep it a secret and I can stay at some motel. Unless you don't mind the whole trip thing. I wouldn't be offended._
> 
> _What's going on with you? You already played in that new Detroit game? I haven't had a chance; I don't want to be out of reality for at least two weeks. Well, I guess I'll put it off until the holidays, too. How's Sean doing at the auto shop? With Finn moving in, things must be pretty different. But it's super cool, really. I'm sure you two are having a great time together._
> 
> _As always, I look forward to another letter from you._
> 
> _Love,_  
>  _Chris Eriksen._

Daniel read the penultimate paragraph repeatedly. Chris really wants to come see him! Had his constant insinuations in almost every letter not been in vain? He was afraid to ask directly, and get rejected. Then Chris wrote to him about it, and for some reason, the younger Diaz had this weird sense of déjà vu. All that was missing was for Sean to burst into his room, call him an idiot, telling him it _wasn't_ _normal_ —disappearing from someone's life for six years and then showing up out of nowhere. And Daniel would mutter some vanilla response to him, like "You don't understand, I want to see him!".

The thing is Sean _didn't know_ that he and Chris had been in touch for a very long time. It was more like Daniel had disappeared from Chris's life, but despite the fear of being _unnecessary_ again, he was able to take the first step and even _apologize._ Only to the dearest people to him would Daniel ask for forgiveness. And then, just for the cause. He did not feel guilty to his pseudo-relatives for wanting to be free with his brother, but to Chris, for disappearing without explanation…

Daniel suddenly felt ashamed of his reaction to Finn's call four months ago. Would Sean freak out now, too? He has the right too, after all, Daniel kept their correspondence a secret, afraid that his brother wouldn't understand his attraction to a boy from the _past_ that the Diaz's were so eager to bury. Although Sean himself was just as clingy to Finn and wasn't wrong to be.

Maybe Daniel was a good judge of character too... The obvious proof of this lay right on his bed, and another stack of letters was in the back drawer under lock and key. And Finn's not the worst person, Daniel had reached out to him back in Humboldt for a reason. He should probably tell him about Chris first, and Finn would find a better way to explain to Sean _why_ his brother is so excited to see a guy he hadn't seen in years and only knew for about a week.

Daniel looked out the window and saw Finn and Sean, who, despite the big waves and the late hour, were still relaxing on the beach. They were both sitting on the same blanket, and Daniel noticed Finn pecking Sean on the cheek and tucking his hair behind his ear. Sean hadn't had a haircut in a while, probably nostalgic for the Humboldt days, which Finn said made Sean look even sexier. Daniel couldn't tell if it sounded creepy or cute, but what he saw at the moment was definitely cute.

Watching them Daniel suddenly felt a strange sensation he's been having every time he saw them together. Not jealousy as he previously thought. _Envy._

Who'd think he'd ever be envious when with the power he had, could get him anything he wanted. However, Sean had something that, as it turned out, Daniel wanted badly and couldn't be gotten by force. Until four months ago he never seen people close to him express their love for each other. Not this kind of love, the others—friendly, brotherly, parental were all different from this.

Dad had never kissed Karen in front of him, because she had left us years ago and it didn't stop her from betraying us again. Throwing a way whatever parental love she had for us. Sean had never kissed Lila the way movie lovers did, because Sean had once told him, "I love her differently." However, she also left this _friendly_ love behind.

So for a long time, Daniel was sure that the care and support of his brother would be enough for him to live a happy life. However, watching Sean and Finn all this time, placidly embracing on the beach on this cold Autumn evening, he had doubts. Would someone kiss him the way his older brother kissed his boyfriend? Daniel had ten months before Chris arrived to find out.

_Just something I can turn to_

_Somebody I can kiss_

_I want something just like this_

**Author's Note:**

> The next translations will be separate from this one.


End file.
